I grew up knowing that if a partner hits you, that’s wrong.
I grew up thinking that if a partner screams and shouts and throws things and hurls obscenities at you, that’s maybe kinda sorta bad.
No one ever told me that manipulation and lying were forms of emotional abuse. No one told me that withdrawal/refusal to speak/coldness and callousness were forms of emotional abuse. No one told me about gaslighting or belittling or dismissiveness.
I just thought that those things happened if you did something wrong, if you weren’t nice and sweet and good and giving enough.