~crazy Scottish father story time~

My father is 60 years old, Scottish, and totally crazy, Here is a story about his eccentricity:

Recently, my father and I spent the day together, just walking around town, sightseeing, drinking coffee, and all that fun stuff. I really love my dad, so I don’t want you to think that this story is about me being annoyed at him. I just happen to find his antics incredibly bizarre.

Anyway, so after visiting some of the usual haunts (like the local record store) I wanted to show him a shop that I am particularly fond of. It’s kind of like a vintage/retro boutique, but they also sell men’s clothes and lots of cool kitschy crap. Anyway, so I am just minding my own business, going through the racks, when my father, out of nowhere, strikes up a conversation with one of the shopgirls.

"So there’s this transvestite that lives in my building, yeah? Nothing against him, eh, let people do what they want, I always say. He looks like he might shop here. He always has these really nice clothes. Some of the women in the building say they dress better than him, ha ha! He always has these really nice shoes, you know? Very Marilyn Monroe."

Try to imagine this being said in a thick Scottish brogue by a diminutive man carrying a laptop case and dressed quite scruffily. 

My dad, I love him, I hope he never changes, but he can be so crazy sometimes.